Guinea Pig Opinions (and Guinea Pig Pinata)
Squeak! Hey! Hello? I need water! Gosh. It’s so hard to get good service, being a pet and all. And what do they think I’m saying? “Oh, hello, hi.” This bottle is empty and they don’t even notice! Speaking of “not noticing,” when was the last time they picked me up? When was the last time they pet me? Let me tell you: I am precious, but they don’t even care!
“Hey—what are you doing? Don’t pick him up! Pick me up, pick me up! Ahh! Really? A spray bottle? I don’t think that was necessary. Wait! Where are you going with him? Hey! Come baaaaaack! Where did you go? Ohh—now you pick me up. Where are you taking me? Is that…. Is that RUNNING WATER I hear?! Ahhh!”
Glub blub blub glub splash!!
“Nice and clean you say? Nice and clean? I’ve got water in my ears thanks to you. Wait. So you don’t put water in my water bottle… but you put it in my ears. You know what? I’m done with you!”
Sniff sniff… gasp!
“Watermelon! I love you!”